About Me

My photo
He goes by a few names: Rob which is short for Robert, and Bobbie which is also short for Robert but curiously has the same number of letters. His beard is entirely his own hair and is coarse in texture like a rough-hewn hessian sack. He eats bread straight from the bag. Like a duck.

Friday, 12 February 2010

All the World's a stage..

..shame I had to be cast as the back end of a pantomime horse!

ROFL!!!!!1 etc.

Well they do say open with a joke (although this really depends on the context).

Seriously though, maybe it's just my high fever or the claustrophobia of not really having left my room for several days but I think I've just had an epiphany. What if human life is just a big soap opera being staged for lazy and stupid omnipotent beings? Gods who long ago stopped pulling the strings behind String theory and now apathetically pick at the fraying threads of the arm of the sofa? I know, incendiary stuff right? I'm confident that nobody has ever had this thought before.. that not one person in history has ever questioned the potentially facile nature of so-called empirical existence.. in fact, just to make sure, I'm going to do a google search..

Oh.

They have forums?

OK, I was being slightly facetious, but I'm bored and possibly deranged. I've never exactly been the outdoors type or particularly social but just 48 hours of convalescing in my room has pushed me to the very apex of histrionic mania. Perhaps as a direct result of this I've taken to watching videos of Glenn Beck freaking out about Liberal conspiracies on youtube. I think I prefer Glenn Beck to Bill O'Reilly (which is like favourably comparing one form of venereal STD to another). Admittedly Beck's mentalist rants are scarier, he accuses Barack Obama of racism and openly weeps on screen, but O'Reilly's bellowing condescension (oxymoronic or merely moronic?) makes me so incandescent with impotent rage that I have to punch the nearest inanimate object (which is usually something crucially important or with great sentimental value... like my crotch..hence the impotence).

Plus I find it bizarrely hilarious to play Dropout Boogie by Captain Beefheart over footage of Beck talking. Maybe I'll even make a youtube video of exactly that.

To plagiarise a quote from Withnail & I (well I am a student after all..); "I must be ill.."

x

1 comment:

  1. Love you boy,

    There's only one Beck worth seeing and he's in Brighton come October ;)

    ReplyDelete